Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes.
Morris shouted across the garage, “Hey DeBakey! Is dat you? “Come on ova’ here a minute.”
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on fixing some teryx suspension. Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively,
“So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ’em, put in new parts, and when I finish dis baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get da big bucks, when you an’ me is doing basically da same work?”
Dr. DeBakey leaned over and whispered to Morris the loudmouth mechanic.
“Try doing it with the engine running.”
An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker.
‘Hey, how much you charge for DA hour, seester?’ he asks.
‘£10,’ she replies.
In broken English he says ‘Do you do Immigrant Style?’
‘No’ she says.
‘I pay you £20 to do Immigrant Style.’
‘No’, she says, not knowing what Immigrant Style is.
‘I pay you £30.’
‘No’, she says.
‘I pay you £50.’
‘No’, she says.
So finally he says, ‘OK, I pay £100 to do Immigrant Style.’
She thinks, ‘Well, I’ve been in the game for over 10 years now.
I’ve had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world. How bad could Immigrant Style be?”.
So she agrees and has sex with him.
They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position.
Finally, after a long time they finish.
Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, ‘Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting.
But that was good. So what exactly is ’Immigrant Style’?’
The illegal immigrant replies ‘You send bill to Government.’
Q. What has four legs, is big, green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A. A pool table