A blonde flying to Chicago

A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.

Dumb BlondeThe blonde woman replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”

After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. It’s a 2 factor decision: I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.” He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

“I told her first class isn’t going to Chicago.”

You know it’s time to turn your computer off and read a book when:

OK, some of these are a bit old, but applicable anyway …

  • A friend calls and says “How are you? Your phones have been busy for a year!”
  • You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
  • You see something funny and scream, “LOL, LOL.”
  • You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said “You’ve Got Mail!”
  • You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
  • You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IM’s.
  • You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car.
  • Tech support calls YOU for help.
  • You beg your friends to get an account so you can “hang out.”
  • You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
  • You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
  • You say “he he he he” or “heh heh heh” instead of laughing.
  • You say “Scroll Up” when someone asks what it was you said.
  • You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.
  • You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
  • You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
  • You start to experience “withdrawal” after not being online for awhile.
  • “Where did the time go??”
  • You sit on AOL for six hours for that certain special person to sign on.
  • You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
  • You have an SSL VPN Authentication token as your keyring.
  • …..You end your sentences with…..three or more periods…….
  • You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}}and **kisses**.
  • Being called a “newbie” is a major insult to you.
  • You’re on the phone and say “BRB.”
  • Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood shot eyes.
  • Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this….”BRB. Leave your S/N and I’ll TTYL ASAP”.
  • You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-Life.