Redneck Computer Terms

Backup – What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods.

Bar code – Them’s the fight’n rules down da local tavern (no Symbol LS2208 here).

Bug – The reason you is a giv’n for calling in sick.

Byte – What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro.

Cache – Needed when you go to da store.

Chip – Yer cusin’s uncle’s mother’s boyfriend’s name.

Terminal – Time to call da undertaker.

Crash – When you go to Junior’s party uninvited.

Digital – The art of counting on your fingers.

Diskette – A female Disco dancer.

Hacker – Uncle Leroy after thirty years of smoking.

Hardcopy – Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.

Internet – Where cafeteria workers put their hair.

Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

Mac – Big Bob’s favorite fast food.

Megahertz – How your head feels after seventeen beers.

Modem – What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.

Mouse pad – Where Mickey and Minnie live.

Network – Scoop’n up a big fish before it breaks the line.

Online – Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.

Rom – Where the pope lives.

Screen – Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.

Serial port – A red wine you drink with breakfast.

Superconductor – Amtrak‘s Employee of the year.

Scsi – What you call your week-old underwear.

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