The Joke Shop

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half...

Guitarist finishes gig and is the last one in the place with the guitar case and the barman plonks down a big glass of the juice and a little bowl of peanuts to go with it, then wanders off to wipe down the counter. This...

OK, you folks at Guiness, listen up, because I am going to describe to you the World's Lengthiest Joke. It is one where the punch line can be anywhere from a quarter-hour to several weeks later than the build-up. That must surely qualify it for...

Tony Blair and David Cameron somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the...

A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got...

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said: "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mum, Ann: "Your...

At a recent computer exposition, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If General Motors had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the...

Q: How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 5 - one to hold it in place and 4 to drink beer until the room spins Q. What do you call a bass player who just broke up with his girlfriend? A. Homeless. Q. What...