Arriving in heaven

Three men die and go to heaven and are standing there admiring the art while in a queue to meet St. Peter.

St. Peter: Hi, what’s your name?

Paul: My name is Paul.

St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?

Paul: 120K.

St. Peter: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money?

Paul: I was a lawyer.

St. Peter: That’s great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what’s your name?

Roger: My name is Roger.

St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?

Roger: 60K.

St. Peter: Hey, that’s great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a living?

Roger: I was an accountant.

St. Peter: That’s very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what’s your name?

John: My name is John.

St. Peter: Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you died?

John: About $23,000.

St. Peter: Hey, that’s fantastic, John! Tell me, what instrument did you play?

Disneyland Survey

A recent survey carried out by a leading soft drink manufacturer in Disneyland, targeted at people on a disney world vacation, produced some strange results.

Mickey Mouse likes Coca-Cola, while Minnie prefers Pepsi.

Donald Duck likes Dr. Pepper, while Daisy prefers Root beer.

Pluto likes plain old lemonade, as does Goofy.

But Snow White adores 7up.

That’s pretty interesting now isn’t it? So, when was the last time that you went to Disneyland?

Blonde at the appliance store

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big cellular shades, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.