A short love story

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1 : 00 AM, the man woke out of his progene-induced haze, leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, ‘Ma’am…?

I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?’ I’m awfully cold.’

‘I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for tonight……let’s pretend that we’re married’

‘Wow! That’s a great idea!’ he exclaimed..

‘Good,’ she replied. ‘Get your own ******* blanket.’

After a moment of silence…he farted.

The End

Black Testicles

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure

A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

Nurse,’ he mumbles, from behind the mask ‘Are my testicles black?’

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies ‘I don’t know,Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body.’

He struggles to ask again, ‘Nurse, are my testicles black?’

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently. They didn’t look black, steel building colors, purple or any other colour.

Then, she takes a close look and says, ‘No sir, they aren’t and I assure you, there’s nothing wrong with them, Sir !!’

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,

‘Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely…..

‘ A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – back ?’

Where did the white man go wrong?

Indian Chief ‘Two Eagles’ was asked by a white government official, ‘You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done’

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, ‘Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?’

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied.

‘When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.’

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. ‘Only white man dumb enough to think he could twiddle the knobs and improve system like that.’