- Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
- Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
- Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
- It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
- It shall be unlawful to shout “whiplash”, “ambulance”, or “free Perrier” for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
- It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
- It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
- It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
- If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
- Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, mesothelioma and vermin.
- It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder – 2
2. Two-faced Tort Feasor – 3
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator – 5
4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut – 2
5. Honest Attorney – EXTINCT
6. Cut-throat – 2
7. Back-stabbing Whiner – 2
8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser – 2
9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender – $100 bounty