A guy is on a date with a girl, so he takes her to Lovers’ Lane.
When they get up there, she says, ”I have to be honest with you — I’m a hooker.” The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it’s okay. He agrees to pay her $25, and they start having sex.
After they finish, the guy says, ”I have to be honest with you now. I’m a cab driver, and it’ll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town.”
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1 : 00 AM, the man woke out of his progene-induced haze, leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, ‘Ma’am…?
I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?’ I’m awfully cold.’
‘I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for tonight……let’s pretend that we’re married’
‘Wow! That’s a great idea!’ he exclaimed..
‘Good,’ she replied. ‘Get your own ******* blanket.’
After a moment of silence…he farted.
A fellow was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, I really don’t want to get her another one of those gift cards, so I’m stumped.”
His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way that she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled.”
So the fellow did.
The next day his buddy asked, “Well? Did you take my suggestion?”
“Yes, I did,” said the fellow.
“…And did she like it?” His buddy asked.
“Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door yelling, “I’ll be back in an hour!!!”