When I dance I make the band skip.
My cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
When I go to the zoo the elephants throw me peanuts.
My graduation picture was a aerial photograph.
I have a phobia .. of the life fitness treadmill at home.
My driver’s license says picture continued on other side.
When I ran away they had to use all 4 sides of the milk carton.
When I get in an elevator it HAS to go DOWN!
Instead of being born with a silver spoon I was born with a silver shovel in my mouth.
They have to grease the door frames and put a Twinkie on the other side to get me through.
I could become rich and sell shade.
My belly button doesn’t have lint — it has sweaters.
And you think YOU’RE fat?