Day: December 11, 2010

Good morning

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”

The man dropped some cordless phone reviews on the businessman’s desk and said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

Advanced Life Support

Here’s one to remember if you’re in an emergency and don’t have a vital signs monitor.

A woman sitting in an Adelaide restaurant suddenly began to cough. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress and two locals, Kenzie and Brian sitting at the next table, turned to look at her.

“Kin ya swaller?” asked Kenzie. The woman signalled ‘No!’, desperately shaking her head. “Kin ya breathe?” asked Brian.

The woman shook her head No!!! With that, Kenzie walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her arse. This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.

Kenzie swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer. Brian said in admiration “Ya know Kenzie, I’d heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that’s the first time I ever seen somebody do it.”