Day: July 13, 2009

Half an hour late

A couple of weeks ago, I played with new member who shot an even par 72.

We had fun during the round, so I asked him if he wanted to play next week.

He said: “Sure, but I might be a half hour late.”

The following week he shows up right on on time, and sets up his golf clubs on the first tee this time playing left- handed. Again he shoots a 72.

I asked him if he wanted to play again next week.

He replied: “Sure but I might be a half hour late.”

I then asked him :”How come some times you play right- handed and other times, left-handed.”

He said :”When I wake up in the morning and my wife is sleeping on her left side, I play left- handed and if she is on her right side, then I play right- handed.”

I then ask ;”So,what if she is laying flat on her back?”

“That’s when I’ll be a half hour late!” he replied

Cinema Mayhem

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a cinema. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry sir, but you”re only allowed one seat.”

The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient.

“Sir,” the usher said, “if you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager.”

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager, mumbling about how people nowadays have got used to live video streaming services. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly.

“All right, buddy. What’s your name?”

“Sam,” the man moaned.

“Where ya from, Sam?” the cop asked.

“The balcony”

Missed a day at the office …

Do you work in an office? If you do, here’s something that might happen to you …

“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss or an Irvine website design company asked one of his employees.

“Yes, Sir.” the new recruit replied.

“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you!