A blonde diet

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet to see if he can give her diet supplements or something to help. Instead he comes up with this great plan:

“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instruction The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought was going to drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor.

“No, from skipping.”

I love my office

I love my office and its location –
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love office furniture, drab and gray,
and the paper that piles up every day!

I love my chair in my padded cell!
There’s nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers –
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.

I love my computer and all its software;
I hug it often though it doesn’t care…
I love each program and every file,
I try to understand once in a while!!

I’m happy to be here, I am, I am;
I’m the happiest slave of my uncle Sam.
I love this work: I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.

I love my Job – I’ll say it again –
I even love these friendly Men –
These men who’ve come to visit today
In lovely white coats to take me away!!!