Day: February 23, 2008

Here’s why you should always carry a portable oxygen concentrator around with you:

A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.

“Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, I’m only here to wash your hands and feet”.

He struggles again to ask, “Nurse, are my testicles black?” Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his privae bits in her hands and takes a closer look, and says “There is nothing wrong with them!”

Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies, “That was very nice but, are… my… test… results… back?

Sarah and Issy are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary. During the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of life insurance (his) – an issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years, without success.

“Issy,” she says, with tears in her eyes, “I don’t think you love me.”

“Why do you think that?” he asks.

“Because if you really love me, you would ensure that if anything happened to you, God forbid, I would be properly provided for.”

“Sarah,” he says angrily, “I need family life insurance like I need a hole in the head.”

“I know your views,” says Sarah, “but I’ve spoken to two of my friends recently and they tell me that their husbands have life insurance – and they’re not as rich as you. If it’s good enough for them, why isn’t it good enough for you?”

“I’ll tell you why,” replies Issy, “it’s because they’ve been paying high premiums month after month and what have they got so far in return? Nothing, gornisht.”

“So what if their husbands have been paying for nothing?” says Sarah, “You’ve always told me I’m luckier than my friends – who knows, maybe this time I’ll strike it rich.”