The Joke Shop

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right...

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, Sister, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a...

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons  of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation...

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative:...

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be...

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A...

IMPORTANT! READ THIS BEFORE USING YOUR NEW DEVICE Congratulations, here is your new device! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtedly will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver....

Little Billy was left to fix lunch and his mum asked for green tea before she went out. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Billy had already strained the tea. "Did you find the tea strainer?" His mother asked. "No mother, I couldn't...