Monday:
Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth.
Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers”, those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chilli, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of Maalox.
Afternoon Snack – Drink the Maalox and steal one of your secretary’s diet pills
Dinner – Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece Dinner, don’t eat the coleslaw.
Tuesday:
Breakfast – Eat the coleslaw.
Lunch – Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
Dinner – Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho’s.
Wednesday:
Breakfast – Jaws couldn’t eat Breakfast after a night at El Flasho’s.
Lunch – Rolaids and a coke
Dinner – Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps.
Thursday:
Breakfast – Order out for pizza
Lunch – Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
Dinner – Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.
Friday:
Breakfast – Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it’s better for you.
Lunch – Skip Lunch… Fridays are murder
Dinner – Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don’t eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
Saturday:
Breakfast – Sleep through it.
Lunch – Ditto
Dinner – Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Don’t eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
Sunday
Breakfast – Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
Lunch – Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Don’t eat Lunch.
Dinner – Chicken noodle soup – Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.
