Hot Tub Etiquette for Men
1. It’s alright to have an erection in a hot tub, but don’t float to the surface yelling “Up Periscope”!
2. It’s okay to pass a joint while hot tubbing; it’s NOT okay to pass gas.
3. Feel encouraged to whisper words of admiration to the well-endowed blonde soaking next to you, but don’t point and exclaim in a loud voice “Hey baby, nice set of Bazookas!”
4. Drink wine or other alcoholic beverages in moderation while hot tubing. DON’T get drunk and suddenly submerge after screaming “Beaver Attack!” And never pull the hot tub covers over when someone else is in!
5. A little underwater groping is OK… Groping yourself is not!
Hot Tub Etiquette for Women
1. It’s not lady-like to straddle a water jet, moan in ecstasy, then scream at the top of your lungs “Oh yes Baby!”
2. Washing your partner’s back is sexy; washing your panty hose is NOT!
3. Group nude bathing with strangers can be a pleasant experience, but don’t spoil things by making snide remarks like, “I’ve seen bigger wangs on a hamster!”
4. It’s okay to pass a joint while hot tubbing; it’s NOT okay to pass gas.
5. Don’t think your fooling anybody by trying to pass off your vibrator as a toy submarine.