Day: November 8, 2010

Web Wizard Wizdom

Reciprocal links with another web site will ensure one way traffic – away from your site.

Despite the fact that it always takes you ten attempts to enter your password correctly a hacker will guess it right first time.

The domain space available for your web site will always be 50 gigabyte less than you need, even if you buy it after reading the best web hosting reviews.

A ten minute browse never takes less than two hours.

The very first visitor to the website which took you months to lovingly create will be a malicious hacker.

Guarantee millions of visitors to your site each day by including three key words in your HTML header – Sex, Money and Free.

The Purina diet

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, and that after reading a few lipofuze reviews, I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the foods nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter‘s ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.