Internet Detox Centre

The rules for the Internet Detox Center are as follows:

All words written must be in full form; No shorthand.

Group Therapy is not to be mistaken as a chat room, and it’s not as hard as xanax detox addiction abuse withdrawal.

The words LOL, Bling, A/S/L, and Pic, are forbidden.

When a person stalls, its not to be considered as “Lagging.”

The shakes that come in the form of an “Air Keyboard” are to be treated ASAP.

Going to sleep is not to be mistaken as signing off.

One-on-One therapy is not to be mistaken as an “Instant Message.”

All records must be filed on paper using black ink; No computers allowed — period!

No “nicknames” allowed because of the “screen name” factor.

When your treatment is over and you leave you are NOT considered to have been “Booted.”

Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

Here’s a recipe for you and if you need an apron for this one just click through here.

You’ll need the following:

  • 1 Cup water
  • 1 Cup sugar
  • 1 Cup brown sugar
  • 4 large eggs
  • lemon juice
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 2 Cups dried fruit nuts
  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares. Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to off the beat turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.

Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?!