Tag: phone

Ian Bell, a lorry driver, who had never owned a cell-phone, was a frequent user of the pay telephone at Weybridge Café, in Brooklands Road, and was greatly inconvenienced when the ‘phone broke down.

He made repeated requests for it to be repaired but sadly the telephone company, who specialised in pay phones and conference call hosting, only made promises.

After several days, Ian, decided to contact the phone company again and told them that there was no longer any hurry to repair the box. He added that the ‘phone was now working fine, concluding with ‘except that all money was being returned to callers upon completion of each call.’

A repairman arrived within the hour.

A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient.

“Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?” asked the psychiatrist.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” said the patient. “And when does this happen?” asked the psychiatrist.

“Oh,” said the patient, “when I pick up my blackberry phone.”

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”

The man dropped some cordless phone reviews on the businessman’s desk and said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:

“Hello?”

“Honey, It’s me.”

“Sugar!”, he said into his mobile phone.

“Are you at the club?”

“Yes.”

“Great! I’m at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful flat screen TV. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?”

“What’s the price?”

“Only $1,500.”

“Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much.”

“Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price … and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year…”

“What price did he quote you?”

“Only $60,000!”

“Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

“Great! Before we hang up, something else…”

“What?”

“It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and…well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s on sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront property…”

“How much are they asking?”, he whispered into the cell phone.

“Only $450,000… a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover…”

“Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000, OK?”

“Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!”

“Bye.”

The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap and asks aloud, “Does anyone know to whom this phone belongs?”