Day: August 6, 2009

Little Johnny in the garden

Little Johnny sat playing in the garden surrounded by swing sets and giant blocks. He had been there the good part of the morning, keeping himself busy and playing with all his toys.

When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale.

“No, Johnny! Stop! That’s horrible! You can’t eat worms!”

Trying to convince him further, “Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm.”

“No, she isn’t,” said Johnny. “Why not?” “Because I ate her first!”

Happy the hubby’s home

Little Johnny was playing on his PS3 in his room when his dad walked in and explained that he and his mom were getting a divorce.

“Why Daddy?” asked a confused Little Johnny.

“Well, son,” he explained, “Your mother and I are no longer in love.”

Now more confused, Little Johnny asked, “What does being in love mean?”

“Let me give you an example, son. Love is when a husband rushes home from a long day at work to embrace and kiss his wife at the door. Your mom and I have lost that love.”

“But Daddy, I see Mommy getting excited lots of times right when you come home, so she must still be in love with you.”

“I don’t understand, son. When has your mother recently been excited when I arrive home from work?”

“Well, sometimes when Mommy is still sleeping in bed with the neighbor, and you pull into the driveway, she shouts at the top of her lungs,

‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!'”