Sport and Gym Jokes

Here’s some good sport one-liners:

When Chuck Norris does a Bodyrev Perfect Pushup, he’s not pushing himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Mike Tyson‘s motto: Can’t beat um…Eat um!!!!

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck

and last but not least, here are ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts:

  • The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you’re up against him.
  • The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.
  • The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick.
  • The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.
  • If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker’s father will be a lawyer.
  • After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.
  • After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.
  • In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.
  • No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it’s your turn.

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