Italian Math

An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test. “Here’s your first question,” the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.”
“Without numbers?” the Italian says, “Data easy.” and he proceeds to draw three trees.
“What’s this?” the boss asks.
“Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree makea nine,” says the Italian.
“Fair enough,” says the boss. “Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.”
The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. “Ere you go.”
The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?”
“Each of da trees isa dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.”
The boss is getting worried that he’s going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, “All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.”
The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, “Ere you go. One hundred.”
The boss looks at the attempt. “You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!”
(You’re going to love this one!!!)
The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, “A little doga came along and crapa by eacha tree. So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, when I a start?”

Beware of the dog!

Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying, ‘DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!’ posted on the glass door.

Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor near the cash register. He asked the store’s owner, ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’

‘Yep,’ the proprietor answered. ‘That’s him.’

The stranger couldn’t help being amused. ‘That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me,’ he chuckled. ‘Why in the world did you decide to post that sign?’

‘Because,’ the owner replied. ‘Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.’