Borrow a dime

Ned was down on his luck in Las Vegas. He had gambled away all his money, couldn’t get any cash advances and had to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men’s room.

The stall happened to be open, so he used the dime in a slot machine and hit the jackpot. He took his winnings and went to the blackjack table and turned his small winnings into ten million dollars.

Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Ned went on the lecture circuit, where he told his incredible story. He told his audiences that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man he would share his fortune with him.

After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said, “I’m that man. I was the one who gave you the dime.”

“You’re not the one I’m looking for. I’m looking for the guy who left the door open!”

Off to vegas

A young sexy blonde was in Las Vegas on one of these Vegas vacations. She had a lovely room with a great view and she spent the first day there watching live event video streaming on a giant TV.

That evening, she was in the casino for about an hour until she felt thirsty. She went to the pop machine in the hall. She put $1.00 in an a Pepsi came out, she put another $1.00 in and another Pepsi came out, she put one last $1.00 in and another Pepsi came out.

A man saw her, and he said: “What are you doing?”

And the sexy blonde said: “Duh!! Winning!!!”