The Cure

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his doctor and asks him what can he do. He was hoping it wasn’t malignant Mesothelioma or something

The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious, but can be cured by inserting a suppository up his anal passage.

The man agrees and so the doctor warns him of the pain, tell him to bend over and shoves the thing way up his behind.

The doctor then hands him a second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours.

So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds that he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth.

He calls his wife over and tells her what to do.

The wife nods, put one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home.

Suddenly the man screams, “Arrgghhhh!”

“What’s the matter?” asked the wife, “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” replies the man, “but I just realized that when the doctor did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders.”

Yes, you are pregnant …

A woman went to the doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you prescribed prenatal vitamins and told her she was PREGNANT?”

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.

“Cured her hiccups though, didn’t it?”