Crocodile Boots

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking, regardless of how fancy their barcode scanner was.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

Blond TV

A blond walked into a store one day looking for a television. She finds the one that she was looking for on a shelf next to a tv stand, so she picks it up and takes it up to the front to pay for it.

The guy working at the cash register looks at her and says “Sorry ma’am, but we don’t sell anything to blonds.” Frustrated, the blond sets the TV down and storms out. She gets an idea, and goes out and buys a brunette wig. The next day, she walks in, grabs the same TV set and takes it up to the cash register. The guy says, “Like I told you yesterday, ma’am, we don’t sell anything to blonds.”

She angrily sets the TV down and storms out. The next day, she walks in with a redhead wig and takes the television up to pay for it. The guy looks at her and says “For the last time, we don’t sell our merchandise to blonds.”

Aggravated, the blond shouts “Well, damnit, why not?” The guy stares at her and replies “Let me put it to you this way,” he points to the TV, “that’s a microwave.”