The salesman, engineer and technician

A salesman, and engineer, and a technician are driving in a car, asking: “Where do I buy an ipod touch 3rd gen?” when, just outside of town, they get a flat tire. The three of them get out of the car and scratch their heads.

The salesman says, “Maybe I should walk into town and get us a new tire. I know that I can bargain with the man at the parts store and get us a great deal.”

The engineer stops him, saying, “No, before you do that, we’ll have to do some computations, figuring the grade of the road, the asphalt temperature, and the average rate of speed we will be traveling to know what kind of tire you should buy.”

The technician laughs and shakes his head. “No, no, no! What’s wrong with you guys? Hell, we have a spare tire in the trunk – now all we have to do is start swapping tires until we find the flat one!”

Who’s pregnant

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months the couldn’t do a paternity test while pregnant so had no idea who the father was. When she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Ma’am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them.”

The woman thinks to herself, “No, not my brother… he’s an idiot!”

She asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”

“Denise.”

“Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it! What’s the boy’s name?”

“Denephew. ”