Some Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many “Changing lightbulbs”-joke writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two hundred, and don’t ask why because they haven’t–figured that out yet.

Q: How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I’ve just cashed up.

Q: How many IKEA shop assistans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “Sorry, we ran out of light bulb stock. We expect it to arrive early next month. We do have ladders though! You just go straight on, then left and then right. No, thanks, anytime.”

Q: How many Dixons assistants does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Err. Nahh, it’s MEANT to go dark after a few weeks. It’s a new fangled addition, the Murray Feiss lighting. It’s been developed by, er, (etc…)

Q: How many pawnbrokers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. It’s of no interest to them.

Q: How many grocery store cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Are you kidding? They won’t even change a five dollar bill.

Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four–one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.

Q: How many mutants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two thirds.

Q: How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, even a burned out bulb can’t catch a waiter’s eye.

Q: How many waitresses does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. Two to stand around complaining about it and one to go get the manager.

Q: How many Contras does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he doesn’t know where it came from.
Note: Topical to the 1987 Iran/Contra hearings.

Q: How many Contras does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he needs one Iranian, one Israeli, four Canadians, and Arab, twenty Swiss, and Afghan, and Oliver North to help him.
Note: Topical to the 1987 Iran/Contra hearings.

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