Couple in lover’s lane

A policeman was patrolling a local lover’s lane parking spot overlooking a golf course. As he drove around he passed a car and saw a couple inside with the light on.

There was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting.

He stopped his patrol car and went over to investigate. He walked up to the driver’s side of the car and knocked on the window. The young man looked up, wound down the window and said, “Good evening officer.”

“What are you doing parked here?” the policeman asked. “Well officer,” replied the young man, “I’m reading this magazine about colon cleanse reviews.”

The police officer pointed towards the young lady in the back seat and asked, “And what is she doing?”. The young man looked over to the back seat and replied, “What does it look like she is doing? She’s knitting.”

“And how old are you?” the officer then asked the young man. “I’m eighteen.” he replied.

“And how old is the young lady?” asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in about seven minutes she’ll be sixteen.”

Come back here

This bloke bought a new Mercedes sports coupe and took it out on the highway to enjoy his new purchase. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 160 kph he suddenly saw a flashing blue and red light behind him. “There ain’t no way they can catch my Mercedes,” he thought to himself and pressed the peddle to the floor. The needle hit 190 but still the cop stayed on his tail. “What in hell am I doing?” the driver thought and wisely pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his licence without a word then examined it and the car. “I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last booking,” he said. I don’t feel like any more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you off!”

The driver thought a moment, then said, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop in one of those Yamaha Rhinos….and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”

“Have a nice night and tone down your speed”, said the officer.