The Wedding

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, aged 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in. He addresses the pharmacist, “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”

Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medication for rheumatism, eczema treatment, scoliosis?”

Pharmacist: “Definitely”

Jacob: “How about Viagra?”

Pharmacist: “Of course”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, agarol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers?”

Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes”

Jacob says to the pharmacist: “We’d like to register for our wedding gifts here please.

Curing a cough

A front end clerk in a pharmacy has just been admonished by the owner for missing too many sales. “I’m sorry” the boss says “But one more missed sale and your fired. Just remember that you won’t find chromium supplements here.”

The next customer that comes in has a terrible cough and asks the problem clerk for help. Unable to recall where the cough remedies are, the nervous clerk points to a box of Ex-Lax and says “Here, buy this then go over to our cooler and take all of it with plenty of water”.

The customer thanks him and obliges. Finishing his last glass of water, the customer exits the pharmacy. Once outside he stops, takes a few faltering steps, then hugs a telephone pole. The boss, having witnessed the entire scene, approaches the clerk and asks him what he recommended.

“Ex-Lax,” says the clerk hesitantly.

“Ex-Lax !” yells the boss. “That won’t help a cough!”

“Sure it does,” says the clerk. “Look,.. he’s afraid to cough.”

What NOT to do at a pharmacy

A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering.

The interviewer said, “Although you have a lot of the qualities we’re looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you.”

“Oh, that’s no problem,” said the man. “If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour.”

“Show me,” said the interviewer.

So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety – ribbed, flavoured, colored and everything; he even found some vigrx; before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.

The interviewer said, “That’s amazing, but I don’t think we could employ someone who’d be womanizing all over the country.”

“Excuse me!” exclaimed the man, “I’m a happily married man, not a womanizer!”

“Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?” asked the interviewer.

The man replied, “Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?”