‘WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?’ The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.
‘Ma’am,’ said the newspaper employee, ‘today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday.’
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition, as she was heard to mutter, ‘Well, sh*t… so that’s why no one was at church today!!!
An old man goes into a drug store. Pottering around, looking at the medicines, weight loss supplements and hair sprays, he finally managed to find the pharmacist and told him he wanted to buy some Viagra
‘Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?’
‘I can cut them for you’ said the pharmacist
‘but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. ‘
‘I’m 96’ said the old man.
‘I don’t want an erection,
I just want it sticking out far enough so I don’t piss on my slippers.’
