10. Child can now open your blouse by himself.
9. The kid starts burping up silicone.
8. Child has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.
7. The little one keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.
6. Child demands that you express for his cafe latte.
5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine.
4. After each session, you both have a smoke.
3. Child invites his friends over for dinner.
2. Child wants to know how to get rid of whiteheads.
1. Beard abrasions on boobs.
