The Joke Shop

After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of his lovely new DLP tv and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. "Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to seven." He awoke with a start...

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 2-minute intervals. 3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4 Walk...

-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth. -- Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts? -- I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes. -- If you think this hurts,...

1. Weigh yourself fully clothed after dinner and again the next morning without clothes and before breakfast, because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight! 2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair. 3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision...

An agent, broker, and actuary are all caught drinking smuggled liquor while staying in Saudi Arabia. They had spent the whole day looking at life insurance quotes and had got careless. Under Saudi law, simply possessing alcohol is an offense punishable by death. However, the...

(This is apparently a genuine addenum to a Canadian Passport Application.) Dear Mr. Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a...

If you think he may not be, you might want to check out DamnedIfGodExists a website my mate set up to sell T-Shirts with humorous atheist slogans. I guess if you're an atheist it's just like a geek wearing a T-Shirt with some humour about...

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!' 'Nonsense,' the doctor said'. 'Even though you and...