The Joke Shop

Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts: The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him. The referee will always be looking the other way when you score. The day...

Never start a trio with a married couple. Your manager's not helping you. Fire him/her. Before you sign a record deal, look up the word "recoupable" in the dictionary. No one cares who you've opened for. A string section does not make your songs sound any more "important". If your...

Q: How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three - one to call the cleaning lady and the other two to feel guilty about having to call the cleaning lady. Q: How many holocaust revisionists does it take...

There was a Blonde and her husband. One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up. She's determined to prove to her husband that blondes arn't dumb, by painting the kitchen. So she gets some masking tape, covers the windows, kitchen faucets and...

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the UGG boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot...

Here's a great joke I heard, which made me think of Arthur: At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl to come down the aisle. She wasn't alone, but followed by a little boy carring a ladys and mens...

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." "I would not allow this employee to breed." "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of...

A lady goes on vacation after getting one of these famous travel deals to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?" "I can't tell you" the black man says. Every night...

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="188" caption="Image via Wikipedia"][/caption] Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans, so...