The Joke Shop

Here are some quotes I came across in my surf around the Web Ask not for whom the bell tolls, let the machine get it. Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry. Being politically correct means always having to say you're sorry. On the...

Image via WikipediaA Russian couple were walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. 'I think it's raining,' he said to his wife. 'No, that felt more like snow to me,' she replied. 'No, I'm sure...

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. It's a 2-factor case that is not always true however." "In some languages, ", he continued,", such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative....

Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers, PC repair technicians and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private...

In the beginning God created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good. And God said...

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring and picked a special one from a shop specialising in tungsten rings. As the girl admired the plain tungsten and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman, "is there...

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet to see if he can give her diet supplements or something to help. Instead he comes up with this great plan: "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a...

I love my office and its location - I hate to have to go on vacation. I love office furniture, drab and gray, and the paper that piles up every day! I love my chair in my padded cell! There's nothing else I love so well. I love to work among...

Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts: The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him. The referee will always be looking the other way when you score. The day...