The Joke Shop

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months (they took care of her by feeding her prenatal vitamins intravenously), when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant...

This fella goes to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got a rash round my cock, have you got anything for it?" The doctor said "Put this on and come back next week if it doesn't work." The bloke comes back the next week and the cream...

A woman walks into her doctor’s office and says “Doctor, I have this terrible rash.” She lifts up her sweater to reveal a large ‘M’ shaped rash. The doctor replies, “Now that is the strangest rash I’ve ever seen, looking up a list of eczema...

After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his worker´s compensation insurance he didn't know his life insurance rate, but he did know that he has some sort...

A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers??? license to verify his age. He looked in his...

1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. 2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bi-focals. 3. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere. 4. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D. 5. Your children...

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice about how to lose weight fast. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and,...

An exhausted looking blond dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep." "I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a...

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account. The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars." The accounts...